yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
