Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
