Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
