Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize