What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize