If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
