Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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