And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
