i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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