I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
