Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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