You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can I color on your dick again?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You were trust falling into bushes
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
