you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
