I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
