we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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