the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
