Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
