all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
