You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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