woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
