You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
