I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
