I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
