My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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