Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
