You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
