found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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