So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
