He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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