You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
