Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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