chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
