we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
