Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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