Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize