how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
