if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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