he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize