I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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