ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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