and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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