I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He passed out mid-signature
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
