Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
