Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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