Who wears a wallet chain?!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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