no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
