i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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