i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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