There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
