Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My ass is underappreciated
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
