I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
