did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
