if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
