You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i will never coherently bang her
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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