He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
