All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
