I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I want her autograph on my taint
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
