At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He passed out mid-signature
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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