I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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