In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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