Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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