i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize