Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
