If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
