the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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