and next time when you feel me up, do it right
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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