Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was born a porn star she said
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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