THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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