The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
